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The Lingering Effects of Trauma: Helping Youth Cope With Violence

By Debra Whiting Alexander for The Bureau For At-Risk Youth

Karla had just taken a seat in the high school auditorium when the lights went out. The curtains slowly opened and the cast of 12 were standing on the stage with their backs to the audience. It was an eerily quiet opening for a musical production but Karla remembers thinking it was a cool dramatic effect. There was a hush across the audience waiting in anticipation. When the cast suddenly turned and faced the audience, Karla saw what she thought were play guns in their hands. But when they opened fire and bullets sprayed from one end of the auditorium to the other, she realized the screams of the victims were real. It was no act and there would be no play.

Karla was shot in the leg. She crouched to the floor with other screaming students and their families, dragging her leg in a desperate attempt to find her dad. She tried frantically to remember which section of the auditorium he had chosen to sit in. It was becoming difficult to breathe when deep heavy sobs began to overtake her. And then she lunged awake screaming for her father in the pitch-black night of her bedroom.

"The nightmares are back", Karla announced. "I can't believe this is happening again. They aren't dreams of what really happened, but I feel the same terror. This time I was afraid for my dad." Karla sat in my counseling office trembling as she described her nightmare to me. She would be the first of four students that day to share post trauma reactions with me. It was nearing the second "anniversary" date of the school shooting that changed their lives forever. On that morning, a total of four people were murdered and more than 20 students were wounded. Physical wounds will be life long for some, and for many others the psychological wounds will be too. For most, the lingering effects of that traumatic morning will continue to come and go.

What To Expect

It is normal for children as well as adults to experience a wide range of reactions following a traumatic event. Although not everyone will experience post trauma reactions, given enough stress, everyone will have reactions to it. Some will experience symptoms immediately while others find symptoms emerging later. There is no right or wrong way to move through the process you must go through to resolve such an event.

Exposure to murder or the threat of murder is among the most difficult traumas people can face. Students tell me they can't concentrate in class, are easily startled and complain of nausea, loss of appetite and sleep problems. All ages regress developmentally and some survivor's go to great lengths to avoid reminders of the event. Reliving memories through flashbacks, intrusive thoughts and images and nightmares is common. Physical complaints of headaches, diarrhea and severe anxiety also happen frequently. Research indicates that exposure to trauma can even cause profound physiological changes to the brain and central nervous system.

Most survivors experience intense feelings of fear and worry that the incident will happen again. The sense of safety and security they once had in the world has been stolen from them. Questioning spiritual beliefs and the meaning to life is an important part of trying to make sense of something that may have completely shifted the foundation of values and beliefs one was raised on.

Daily routines and activities are difficult for trauma survivor's to follow and life often feels as though it will be permanently disrupted. Teens often say they feel like they're going "crazy." The roller coaster of emotions they experience makes them feel as though they are "losing their mind." You can assure them they are not crazy. What happened was.

Trauma reactions can and do happen to emotionally healthy people. They cannot be prevented by maturity, strength, courage or good mental health. The temptation to self-medicate disturbing thoughts, feelings and physical sensations is especially high for adolescents. Many believe if they can numb and block out frightening reactions they will go away on their own. Clearly, using the distractions of drugs, alcohol, sex or food only complicates the survivor's ability to move on. They often get "stuck" on the emotional roller coaster that can cause one to feel so "crazy." .

Traumatic memories can replay themselves and interfere with daily living. They are memories like no others. They are difficult to shake and impossible to erase. Like adults, children and adolescents need to talk about them, understand what they went through and learn ways to cope with distressing symptoms. It's been said what you can't put to words, you can't put to rest. Professional debriefing is an opportunity for those involved or impacted by a trauma to talk about what they went through, gain an understanding about the range of normal responses they can expect and learn techniques for coping with distressing symptoms. The sooner survivor's of trauma receive emotional first aid the better.

Adolescents may refuse help from others for many of the same reasons adults do. They may be afraid of becoming too overwhelmed by talking about it. If they start to cry, many fear they won't be able to stop. Reviving troublesome memories that evoke difficult feelings and symptoms is extremely painful. Others simply feel it is just impossible to explain what they went through. Some may be struggling with feelings of guilt and anger about their role in the event. Others believe in order to forget what happened, it's better not to talk about it. By disclosing their true thoughts and feelings survivor's often say they fear they will be seen as having a "mental condition." Many also fear they may upset others by sharing the graphic parts of the experience they continue to be most troubled by.

A pre-teen once asked me; "Don't you have a pill or something you can give me to just make me forget?" Part of successful counseling involves helping survivor's understand the value of remembering. Techniques can be taught to help survivor's learn to live with the images and find a reason to go on.

What You Can Do

Parents and concerned adults can do a lot to help children and teens survive traumatic experiences. Victims must find their own way to go on but with support and guidance you can help them find relief from distressing symptoms. You can also help them figure out how to endure profound suffering and loss. Remember the following:

• Be willing to listen when the child is ready to talk.
• Openly acknowledge the trauma and what happened honestly.
• Help reestablish a sense of safety and security.
• Increase comfort and adjust for your child's own unique fears.
• Tolerate temporary behavioral and mood changes.
• Educate yourself and your family about the normal responses to trauma.
• Give hope and be prepared to address spiritual questions and concerns.
• Seek professional help if stress is prolonged or cannot be alleviated.
• Seek support and consultation from a trained trauma specialist who can provide you with a variety of helpful strategies.

Moving through the myriad of experiences following a traumatic event is never an easy process and there are no quick fixes. A traumatic memory for most can only be integrated through a painfully slow process. Understanding this is the first step. Love, empathy, support and professional assistance, if necessary, can help take you the rest of the way.

Reaffirm The Future With Hope

I tell people the trauma they suffered will always be a part of their life but it is not all of life. It may be a sentence, page or chapter in their life story, but it's not the whole book. No doubt there will be more tragedies to endure in the chapters yet to be written, but there will be many good memories too. How they transform their suffering from this tragedy can help them respond to stress in the future. I ask my clients, "How has this changed you? In what ways are you different?" Children and adolescents often say the same thing; "I appreciate everything about my life more", "I don't take things or people for granted" and "My beliefs and goals have grown stronger."

The evening following Karla's visit to my office, a school performance was taking place in the auditorium of her high school. Her dreams had turned the same event into a horror story just one night earlier. After she shared the nightmare with her father he asked if it might be better if she didn't attend. Karla told her dad, "No, it wouldn't be better. I can't stop living my life. It was a dream about the past. Not my future." That evening, Karla and the rest of her school enjoyed a terrific performance. It was a good memory all could add to their life stories.

We must acknowledge to our children that a part of life is not good or secure. But that trauma is not all of life. It is just a part. Eventually what's good about life returns to help balance what's not.

About Debra Whiting Alexander, Ph.D.

Debra Whiting Alexander, Ph.D. is the author of Children Changed by Trauma: A Healing Guide (New Harbinger Publications, 1999) and two series of creative healing books for children and teens recovering from post trauma stress; Something Bad Happened series and The Way I Feel series (The Bureau For At-Risk Youth, 1991).

She consulted on the video Saving Our Schools: From Hate And Violence (Heartland Media, 1999) and is currently working on a video project regarding the emotional aspects of emergency care (EMP International, Inc., 2000).

She is currently a Trauma Consultant and Counselor for the Springfield School District and Professor at Northwest Christian College in Eugene, Oregon.

Changed By Trauma: Helping Youth Cope In The Aftermath Of Tragedy

By Debra Whiting Alexander for The Bureau For At-Risk Youth

City bombings, random acts of crime, wars, violence at home and school…today, a growing number of children are victims and witnesses to acts of human cruelty -- and even second-hand exposure to trauma can be problematic. Children have experienced more and more events that are beyond normal human experience, and what they have learned is that life is not safe.

Most adults are not prepared for the experience of helping youth through such intense emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual injuries. The effects can be far-reaching. Not only does trauma impact learning (students can't learn when they aren't relaxed), it can change the whole course of a child's or adolescent's continued healthy development. Schools have the unique opportunity to respond to traumatized children in a number of helpful ways, but it can be difficult to know where to begin and what to do.

Common Reactions

It's natural for all children impacted by trauma to feel, think and behave differently in response to an abnormal event in their lives. Intense emotions, frightening thoughts, physical symptoms, and spiritual confusion are all normal reactions following a life-changing event.

Children and teens cope in a variety of ways to overwhelming stress. A few of the more common symptoms include: anxiety, worry, anger, sadness, nightmares, and fear. Some kids become overactive, while others appear lethargic and withdrawn. They may complain of physical aches and pains, have difficulty concentrating in class, and have trouble sleeping or eating. They may want to avoid friends, social activities and school. Some children will talk repeatedly about what happened, while others will refuse to discuss it at all. They may display aggressive behaviors, and express distressing and repeated themes in play, art or writing. All ages may act younger than they are. Separation anxiety and clinginess are especially common.

Encourage Open Discussion

The more children and teens are able to talk about and/or express what happened with people who understand, the sooner the difficulties will diminish. Most children, however, regardless of their age, need help identifying their thoughts and feelings following a tragedy. They also benefit from a structured environment in which they are permitted to talk directly about what happened and learn effective coping skills.

What you can do:

• Help kids feel safe. Address common fears and adjust for them in daily routines.
• Provide physical comfort. It's especially important for younger children, but everyone benefits from a nurturing environment.
• Take time to listen. Allow for structured opportunities to listen to all thoughts and feelings that students want to voluntarily share. Teens especially may have a need to analyze and fully discuss with one another what happened and why.
• Address concerns and answer questions. Keep your answers and explanations simple and direct. Children want real facts. Be honest without sharing graphic or disturbing details. If you don't know the answer to a question, be honest about that too. Correct any distortions and misinformation you hear.
• Remain composed. Provide a calm, serious and undramatic response to what children say and ask.
• Use open questions. To help facilitate discussions ask questions like, "What is your understanding about what happened?" "What would you like to know?"
• Create a climate of acceptance. Don't criticize, judge or shame a child for anything they say or do and make sure everyone in your group or class understands this rule. Accept and validate everything that is expressed.
• Understand cultural differences. Some behaviors and styles of expression within your student population may be common to their culture. Be careful not to assume that behaviors different from your own mean they are trauma-induced problems.
• Educate. Reassure students that the more they tell the story, the less intense and frightening the emotions become. Help them understand the wide range of normal reactions they can expect to see and prepare them for what may be different in the days, weeks and months ahead. Remind younger children that thoughts and feelings can't make bad things happen.
• Talk about changes. Ask children about the ways they feel different and what they notice in those around them. Normalize their examples and acknowledge the common and unique ways all have felt changed by the experience.

Decrease Stress

Like adults, children and youth will react to stress differently and have varying thresholds for it. Minimize stress whenever you can.

What you can do:

• Take time to relax. Be flexible and lower your expectations of children for a while. Take breaks through the day and help children relax through simple breathing exercises, silent meditation/prayer, classical music or taking walks where the sounds of nature can be heard.
• Model coping tools. Explain what you do to help yourself. Brainstorm with kids other ways they can take care of themselves.
• Hold parent meetings. Educate families about trauma reactions and ways families and caregivers can help. Your job as a teacher, administrator or counselor will be made easier when parents have the tools and understanding of how best to support their kids.
• Maintain routines. There is comfort in the predictable routines in life. Make sure children know what to expect throughout the day.
• Monitor media. Review for age-appropriate content and themes. Even some family movies can restimulate post-trauma stress.
• Increase supervision. Prevent unsupervised gatherings and emotional drama at school by monitoring halls closely and having supportive adults available to all kids throughout the day.
• Be proactive. Provide a way to channel energies into constructive activities like helping others.

Reassure And Remind

All children need the loving support of the adults around them in order to regain a sense of security and trust. They need to know that no matter what happens, the adults around them will do everything in their power to keep them safe.

What you can do:

• Remind children of what went right. You might ask, "Who helped?" "What good things happened when we needed them to?" "What unexpected things have people done to help others?"
• Address issues of death concretely. Let kids know the greater the loss, the longer the time it will take to feel better again. Acknowledge that death is permanent and sad and that grieving is a process. Reassure them that it won't always feel as sad as it does right now.
• Empower. Give children choices and outlets for expressing thoughts and feelings. Help them regain a sense of power and control. Review general safety rules and precautions and practice problem-solving skills.
• Identify resources. Help students think about all the outside resources they have to support their continued healing. Family members, counselors, nurses, doctors, friends, clergy and spiritual beliefs and values can be helpful resources to seek out for extra help.
• Renew hope. Help kids understand that trauma is a part of life, but not all of it. Explain that they won't forget what happened, but can survive the memory. Reassure them that healing happens even in the hurt.

Most kids recover from a trauma without professional assistance, but others may develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or other persistent problems that will require help from someone trained in treating post-trauma stress.

Children are changed by trauma and although the emotional recovery process isn't easy or quick, it is possible to find hope and healing in the aftermath. The support children receive from caring adults after a tragedy can help them avoid long-term emotional harm. The school environment is an important, if not critical piece to children's adjustment and full recovery.

Crises Need To Be Prevented -- Not Managed

By Franklin Schargel for The Bureau For At-Risk Youth

The scouts' motto is "be prepared" and there is no better advice for educators to follow in these seemingly chaotic times. Just as it is easier to prevent fires than to extinguish them, it is easier to prevent crises than to try to manage them. The easiest way to prevent crises is to plan. And the reality is if you fail to plan, then you plan to fail. The following is a list of suggestions for school administrators and teachers to help them prepare for and prevent a crisis.

Have A Flexible Response

Not all situations require the same response. In adapting to the current security crisis, the federal government has adopted a series of "traffic light" levels of importance. A "green light" indicates that things on campus are going smoothly, a "yellow" light is a sign of caution, a "red light" indicates that a situation may develop which will necessitate the implementation of a crisis prevention plan.

Develop Action Plans

Schools need to develop School Action Plans with their various constituencies. Parents, teachers, students, police, and community-based organizations, as well as the principal or superintendent must have a hand in their development. Once developed, the plan must be distributed so that all involved know the role they play.

The most important portion of an action plan is the answer to the question, "Who will do what and when?" But there is also a need to determine what (if any) resources a person will need in dealing with a situation. (For example, additional time, secretarial assistance, financial.)

P.D.S.A. -- Plan, Do, Study And Act

Once having developed the plan, there is a need to "do" it - to see if it works. After doing the plan there is a need to study the results and modify them so as to maximize their impact. Then "act" on the new plan. Once the cycle has been completed, there is a need to develop and improve the plan once again.

Hold Frequent Drills (Fire, Tornado, Evacuation)

Hold drills at different times of the day and on different days. Inform the faculty in advance so that tests and instructional interruptions are held to a minimum.

Don't Overreact

Frequently we react on impulse, and many times those impulses, which we have developed over time, are correct. However, sometimes they are wrong and cause greater problems. Sometimes we create new rules which we cannot enforce and make situations far more repressive for both students and faculty. Not all situations require an immediate response. Some don't require a response at all. All responses, whether immediate or delayed, must be intellectual and not emotional.

Packaged Plans May Not Be The Best Plan

Educators believe that plans that someone else has thought of will work universally. We know that one-size-fits-all generally does not. Schools have different cultures and a cookie cutter approach will not work. Having said that, there is nothing wrong with looking at existing packages and modifying and adapting them to a particular district or school.

Technology

At the very least, administrators should have walkie-talkies to communicate with each other and the principal. In addition, in case landline telephones do not work, educators should have mobile phones. Also, extra fire extinguishers should be in administrator's offices in case those in the halls do not work.

Train The Faculty

Some professional development should focus on crisis prevention and intervention. The staff needs to be able to identify critical signs of potential violence and what their role is in preventing it. They should be trained about what actions need to be taken if they find suspicious packages or weapons or if they overhear threats of violence.

Training In CPR

At least two members of a school's staff should be trained in CPR. Staff members on campus should be aware of who they are and how they can be contacted.

Have A Contact List In Administrators' Offices

There should be a list of contact phone numbers for police, fire and ambulance in every administrator's office. Sometimes 911 is not the best phone number to call.

Involve The Disenfranchised And Provide A Voice For Everyone

The student government represents the good students in the school. School teams represent a different group. Students who belong to school clubs or other extracurricular activities have a voice in the school. Who listens to the others? Schools need to provide an ear for those who have no voice. A "third ear" should be identified -- someone who is a trusted member of the faculty who students see as nonjudgmental and noncritical.

Teach Conflict Resolution Skills

It is critical that youth learn that disagreements are always going to exist. It is necessary to learn how to deescalate conflict, manage, and resolve it, because eliminating it is not a realistic goal. Students need to be taught that there are various ways to handle disputes -- violence is not the only way, nor should it be the first alternative for settling a dispute.

Be Aware That No Matter What You Do, Things Will Happen

There is no more highly protected institution in America than a bank, and they are still robbed. Schools are vulnerable to all forms of attack, just like many of America's other institutions. However, if we take preventive action, the likelihood of assaults will be reduced.

Things are going to happen on school campuses. It is easy to overreact to rumors, reports of impending fights or potential gang-related incidents. All reports need to be investigated, and if found valid, action needs to be taken.

The solution to achieving crisis-free schools, where students and faculty attend safely, is rooted in knowing what to look for, knowing what to do, and taking action with a comprehensive crisis prevention plan. Truly effective crisis prevention means providing daily experiences -- embedded in the school curriculum -- that will engender and enhance in all students positive social attitudes and effective interpersonal skills necessary for group living.

When Crisis Hits the Schools: Advice for Counselors, Teachers, and Parents

By Dr. Tina R. Paone and Dr. Krista Malott for American Counseling Association

Crises strike quickly and without warning. This is evident in the recent shootings at Virginia Tech, the Amish School in Pennsylvania, and at Columbine High School in Colorado. Other recent crises include the natural disaster in Louisiana and Mississippi (Hurricane Katrina) and the terrorist attack of September 11th. However, crisis may also prove smaller in scale, including car accidents, suicide, and the sudden death of friends or family members. These events can be considered frightening for some and traumatic for others.

Due to the profound effect of crisis upon youth and its subsequent negative influence upon student’s academic performance, school teachers and counselors play an essential role in providing crisis support for students and their family members. Gysbers and Henderson (2000) speak to the necessity of incorporating a crisis plan into a comprehensive school counseling program. Additional interventions will be described in this article, including suggestions for teachers, school counselors, and parents.

Crisis Counseling

Crisis counseling can be defined as an immediate, short term counseling intervention for an occurring or recently occurred event. The goals of crisis counseling within the school setting are to improve the functioning of a student, return them to a balanced status, and to prevent a decline in their social, academic, and emotional functioning. Crisis counseling provides guidance, education, and support for students and key family members to help them cope with their current situation. If a student is not progressing and it is determined that longer-term assistance is necessary, school counselors will typically refer him or her to a community counselor. Additional interventions could include family counseling, group counseling, and medication.

Developmental Responses to Crisis

Children will react uniquely to crisis situations—some may be profoundly affected while others experience little or no reaction. Symptoms resulting from a crisis will frequently pass as a child readjusts. However, if symptoms persist, it is recommended that a referral to an outside agency be made. Symptoms may not appear until several days or weeks following the event, and may include regressive or atypical behavior. An example of atypical behavior is an outgoing child or adolescent who becomes shy and withdrawn. Regressive behavior entails a regression to past behaviors, such as baby talk or thumb sucking for children. Age will also determine certain reactions. Below is a description of common reactions for each school-age group. Being able to recognize developmentally appropriate reactions can be helpful in understanding normal and abnormal behaviors in response to a crisis.

Elementary-Age Children

Children in elementary school will often experience anxiety and fear when facing a crisis. The emergence of fears unrelated to the actual event is normal (e.g., fears of darkness or the death of a parent). Children in this age group may become overly preoccupied with the details of the incident and want to talk about it repeatedly. They may exhibit symptoms such as thumb sucking, whining, clinginess, irritability, aggressiveness, or competitiveness with siblings. They may avoid or lose interest in school, complain of headaches or other physical symptoms, withdraw from peers, experience regressive behaviors, nightmares, or possible depression.

Middle School Aged Children

Pre-adolescents in middle school will experience crisis in reference to their peers, with concern that their feelings will be judged. Anxiety, fear, and possible feelings of guilt can emerge with this age group. Often, middle school students will need to be reminded that his/her feelings are appropriate and that others feel similarly. Signs that a middle school student is experiencing trauma after a crisis may include sleep disruptions, stomach and headaches, fighting at school, withdrawal from school activities, loss of interest in friends, and rebelliousness.

High School Students

High school students may react physically as well emotionally when dealing with crisis. Adolescents may experience a combination of school-aged and adult reactions. They may be overwhelmed with emotions and engage in risky or delinquent behaviors. They may perform poorly in school, experience head and stomachaches, a change in friends, depression, poor concentration, changes in energy level, and indifference.

What Teachers Can Do

Teachers are essential members in providing leadership and support for students in a crisis situation in the schools. Suggestions for teachers in a time of crisis include:

• Assure student safety in any manner necessary.
• Inform the counselor or administration regarding high-risk or isolated students or individuals reacting in an extreme manner to the event.
• Provide concise, age-appropriate facts about the event, as students ask for it.
• Avoid glorifying victims or sensationalizing the event (keep your own reactions in check).
• Encourage supervised class discussions if students seem especially focused upon the event.
• Limit classroom television viewing or radio exposure regarding the event, which increase anxiety.
• Allow students to exit class to discuss the event with the counselor.
• Provide an activity that will help students combat a sense of helplessness (e.g., writing letters of condolence to the family of the victims, getting politically active, etc).
• Self care is key: teachers model coping responses. Seek support in friends, family, colleagues, or the school counselor.

What Counselors Can Do

Counselors play a key role in managing responses in the school, staff, student, and parent populations. Crisis response is more practical than psychological, most often requiring that counselors provide information, activities and structure to help students recover and move past the crisis. Listening as students and family members work through their feelings and reaction to the events is a key activity. Reinforce that talking about the event helps alleviate stress and fears. Additional suggestions:

• In the case of suicide, school violence, or community-related disasters begin by honoring the procedures of the school crisis plan—having a proscribed response can be helpful in a time of crisis.
• Establish the safety of the students/families. This may run the gamut from merely listening to fears or referring them to housing/community/legal resources.
• Assess the risk of any follow-up responses to crisis and act quickly (e.g., copy-cat suicides, retaliation of gang violence, or chances of isolated or at-risk students reacting adversely), involving additional supports such as law enforcement.
• Provide concise, age-appropriate information about the event as students ask for it. Uncertainty breeds anxiety. In-depth details increase children’s fears.
• Avoid glorifying victims or sensationalizing the event (keep your own reactions in check).
• Bolster youth’s coping skills by increasing awareness of strengths/contacts they have and increasing emotional expression coping skills, cognitive coping skills, and relaxation training.
• Call in assistance. In a crisis, area-wide school and community counselors are more than willing to assist.
• Make counselors available to teachers, staff, students throughout the school or at local community centers at all hours (e.g., churches, Boys and Girls Club).
• Check in with teachers and administrators who may self-isolate, feeling pressure to ‘bear the crisis silently.’
• Educate parents through many mediums (websites, local radio/newspaper/ television) regarding normal responses to crisis, PTSD symptoms, caretaking, and available support.
• Remember to take care of yourself. Seek support in other colleagues/counseling professionals to avoid burnout.

Cultural Considerations for Professionals

Individual student culture dictates reactions and coping responses to crisis. If uncertain, you may want to refer to an expert in your students’ predominant culture to determine the best resources and to be able to recognize normal versus abnormal responses. Be open to what works for your clients.

• Reactions and coping responses that may be influenced by culture include a profuse show of emotion or emotional stoicism that includes absolute silence regarding the event.
• Some groups may expect prolonged or life-long grieving (e.g., traditional Italian and Latino families).
• Individuals of many cultures will seek religious support, including praying and specific rituals.

• Some victims may require additional advocacy: refer out for legal assistance or any other support services necessary, preferably with professionals who are familiar with the client’s language and culture.
• Seek understanding of cultural responses through speaking to experts: determine what is expected from adults in support roles in their culture. Attempt to provide this (e.g., they may need you to sit with them while they pray or they may want assistance in taking action).
• Consult and collaborate with individuals considered key to the culture (e.g., in a Latino immigrant population, it may be appropriate to provide support services in conjunction with the local Catholic church).
• Some groups may distrust the school and refuse to seek support services on site. Provide familial support services in alternative locations (e.g., be willing to visit homes or, if there is a local community center popular for certain groups, find counselors that can provide support at those locations).
• Collaborate with professionals that already provide services to those populations (e.g., invite into the schools area-wide community counseling professionals that offer language and culture-appropriate services).
• Reach out to isolated groups through public service announcements on local television channels and radio stations, providing language-appropriate information regarding the crisis and area coping resources.
• Be aware of repercussions regarding the crisis upon specific populations. For example, following the terrorist attack on 9/11, there was an elevated risk of violence against individuals who appeared Middle Eastern. Help keep youth safe from displaced grief or anger.

What Parents Can Do

Children respond and cope well to crisis when the parents are able to respond and cope well. In a time of crisis, the initial task is to assure safety. Find ways to feel safe and help your child feel safe (if you can’t guarantee fully that they will be safe, do not lie, but tell them you will do everything in your power to keep them safe).

Additional Suggestions

• Allow yourself time and space to react to the event away from the children (e.g., crying, grieving, rage). Never use children, even teenagers, as a support.
• Limit media exposure: television images and radio discussions can be frightening.
• Explain the event in an age-appropriate way; don’t overwhelm them with information they cannot handle, don’t give false reassurance. Use honest, simple language with young children (e.g., do not use confusing language such as, “he went to sleep”).
• Allow children to talk about the event or encourage emotional expression via play, writing, or art. Painful emotions should not be denied or buried.
• Allow them to discuss the event, and their fears, numerous times.
• Spend extra time together. Your presence is key.
• Encourage children to help around the home and on projects—they’ll feel more in control when they can help. Maintain a normal routine as much as possible.
• Do something together to alleviate a sense of helplessness (e.g., collect or make food for family members of the victims, offer your family’s assistance or get politically active).
• Be aware that traumatic events may intensify children’s symptoms of other issues, such as ADD, behavioral disorders, eating disorders, major depression, etc.
• Look for signs of post traumatic stress disorder (prolonged trauma responses). Signs include long-term sleep disturbances, disturbing memories/dreams or flashbacks, pessimism about the future, expectations of early death, behavioral reenactment (expressed in play), diminished interest in activities, physical symptoms such as stomachaches or headaches, feeling constantly on guard, nervous, or jumpy. If these symptoms persist over time, seek professional assistance.
• Discuss with your child about what you will do if another disaster strikes. Prepare and plan together for future disasters.
• Be patient: it takes time for children to come to terms with difficult events. Each child’s reaction and recovery will be unique.
• Model healthy coping skills. Avoid using drugs/alcohol. Sleep well, exercise, and seek support from the school counselor, someone from your house of worship or other professionals.

Resources

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

National Crisis Hotlines

http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/crisis_hotlines.htm

Child Survivors of Trauma

http://users.umassmed.edu/kenneth.fletcher/kidsurv.htm

Support for young children

http://www.zerotothree.org

References

Gysbers, N. & Henderson, P. (2000). Developing and managing your school guidance program (3rd Ed.). Alexandria: VA, American Counseling Association.