By Nancy Willard for The Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use
- Middle school students created a website denigrating Raymond. They posted stories, jokes, and cartoons ridiculing his size and questioning his sexuality.
- Tyler reported to the principal that students were bullying another student. When Tyler got home, he had 35 angry messages in his email box. The anonymous cruel messages kept coming -- some from total strangers.
Sitting around the computer with her friends, Judy asked, “Who can we mess with?” Judy started IM-ing with Sara, asking her many personal questions. The next day, the girls were passing around Sara’s IM at school.
Brad’s blog is filled with racist profanity. Frequently, he targets black and Latino student leaders, as well as minority teachers, in his angry verbal assaults.
- Greg, an obese high school student, was changing in the locker room after gym class. Matt took a covert picture of him with his cell phone camera. Within seconds, the picture was flying around the cell phones at school.
- Sue was really angry at Kelsey, who she thought stole her boyfriend. Sue convinced Marilyn to post anonymous comments on a discussion board slamming Kelsey. Marilyn was eager to win Sue’s approval and fit into her group of friends, so she did as Sue requested.
- A group of girls at his school had been taunting Alan through instant messaging, teasing him about his small size, daring him to do things he couldn’t do, suggesting the world would be a better place if he committed suicide. One day, he shot himself. His last online message was, “Sometimes the only way to get the respect you deserve is to die.”
Young people have clearly embraced the Internet as a tool for socializing. Unfortunately, there are increasing reports of teens, and sometimes younger children, using the Internet to engage in cyberbullying -- being cruel to others by sending or posting harmful material or engaging in other forms of social cruelty.
Cyberbullying can take different forms, including:
- Flaming -- online “fights” using electronic messages with angry and vulgar language;
- Harassment -- repeatedly sending offensive, rude, and/or insulting messages;
- Denigration -- sending or posting cruel gossip or rumors about a person to damage his or her reputation or friendships;
- Impersonation -- breaking into someone’s account, posing as that person and sending messages to make the person look bad, get that person in trouble or danger, or damage that person’s reputation or friendships;
- Outing and trickery -- sharing someone’s secrets or embarrassing information or images online and/or tricking someone into revealing secrets or embarrassing information, which is then shared online;
- Exclusion -- intentionally excluding someone from an online group, like a buddy list;
- Cyberstalking -- repeatedly sending messages that include threats of harm or are highly intimidating: and
- Engaging in other online activities that make a person afraid for her or her safety.
It is widely known that face-to-face bullying can result in long-term psychological harm to targets. This harm includes low self-esteem, depression, anger, school failure, school avoidance, and, in some cases, school violence or suicide. It is possible that the harm caused by cyberbullying may be even greater. Online communications can be extremely vicious. There is no escape for those who are being cyberbullied -- victimization is ongoing, 24/7. Cyberbullying material can be distributed worldwide and is often irretrievable. Cyberbullies can be anonymous and can solicit the involvement of unknown “friends.”
Cyberbullying may be related to in-school bullying. Sometimes, the student who is victimized at school is also being bullied online. But other times, the person who is victimized at school becomes a cyberbully and retaliates online. Other times, the student who is victimized will share his or her anger or depression online as distressing material.
Frequently, cyberbullying appears to be occurring between members of the “in-crowd” and “wannabes.” Cyberbullying may involve relationships, including angry breakups or fights about relationships. It may also be based on hate or bias -- bullying others because of race, religion, obesity, or sexual orientation. Unfortunately, it also appears that many teens simply think that cyberbullying is entertaining.
Cyberbullying generally is occurring off-campus, although students may be able to engage in cyberbullying through the district Internet system or by using cell phones at school. It is more difficult for schools to respond with formal discipline if the cyberbullying is occurring off-campus due to free-speech protections. Any time there is a report of cyberbullying between students, even if it appears that the activity is occurring off-campus, an individualized search should be conducted of the Internet use activities of the involved students through the district’s Internet system. This may reveal evidence of on-campus activity that can justify a wider range of responses.
Even if the activity is totally off-campus, there is much that can be done to seek to resolve the situation. It is exceptionally important to sort out the overall relationships between the students involved and to stop any related on-campus bullying.
Schools can contact the parents of the students involved in cyberbullying, provide them with evidence of their child’s online activities, and offer to provide assistance in helping them gain better control over their children’s Internet use. In such cases, it is strongly recommended that the parents install monitoring software on their home computers. If parents know that their children causing harm to others and fail to intervene to stop the harm, they can be held financially liable in a civil court proceeding.
There are also actions that the target or target’s parents can take to seek to stop the cyberbullying and remove the material. This includes contacting the website, Internet service provider, and/or cell phone company to file a complaint. In some cases, filing a civil lawsuit may be justified or contacting the police if the actions are in violation of criminal law.
Counselors can assist the target in dealing with these situations by either helping the target disengage from the online community in which he or she is being bullied or finding a way to stop the cyberbullying while remaining in the online community. Online communications provide interesting capabilities to help “bully-proof” a student. The communications are recorded. This can allow the student and counselor review the communications to determine whether actions of the student might be precipitating the cruel behavior. Bullies are reinforced when the target loses his or her “cool.” But online communications are invisible and can be delayed. Targets can learn the importance of not responding when upset and can take the time to craft a strong and assertive response. This provides targets with the opportunity to more effectively stand up to the bully and, in so doing, hopefully get the bullying to stop.
These new technologies are clearly an important part of youth life. There is simply no way to block or prevent their use. Increased adult supervision is clearly essential. But most importantly, these new technologies present a challenge: How can we impart to young people the knowledge, skills, and values to ensure that they make good choices that demonstrate respect for others and are empowered to respond effectively if others are not demonstrating respect for them?
