--John F. Kennedy
By Dr. Joel Goodman for GuidanceChannel.com
Since 1977, The HUMOR Project has been doing "what we can with the third." In our presentations to more than two million people throughout the world, we have discovered that there are some common "mythconceptions" about humor. Let's play with them one at a time:
Mythconception #1: People Won't Take Me Seriously If I Use Humor
Myth: People won't respect me professionally if I use humor.
Truth: As shown by the best-selling book, FISH!: A Remarkable Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results, "work made fun gets done."
It is important that we take seriously our goals, roles, and missions in life...and it is also important that we take ourselves lightly. This is crucial, because there is a cosmic joke being played on all of us. Many best-selling books suggest that we should be not only in search of excellence but that we should have a passion for excellence. This is a good message: that we should strive to meet our individual and organizational potential. At the same time, by definition, human beings are imperfect. So, what do we do with the gap between the perfection we seek and the imperfection we need to live with?
"Don't take life so seriously-- You'll never get out alive!" is on one poster in my office. It suggests that the funny bottom line is being able to laugh at ourselves. In other words, you can be a serious professional without being solemn. Your sense of humor can add an important touch of humanity to your life and work.
Mythconception #2: Humor Is Not Serious
Myth: We have more important things to deal with than humor. Humor is childish, frivolous, not-for-keeps.
Truth: Humor can be a life-saver, a life-enhancer, and a link to learning! There is a big difference between behaviors that are childish and perspectives that are child-like. In fact, having a childlike perspective is one of the most important adult coping skills.
When I speak to schools, corporations, and associations throughout the United States and abroad, I offer many reasons why humor is fun, but not for fun. Here is a taste:
Laughter and Learning Go Hand-in-Hand
Humor has important implications for people involved in teaching and learning. My perspective is that laughter (HAHA!) and learning (AHA!) can go hand-in-hand, and that in many cases, laughter can liberate learning. I am convinced that this is how it works: humor serves to capture students' attention ("tickling" their curiosity about the subject at hand)... to free up their attention (by allowing for the release of stressors which might otherwise have preoccupied them)... and to hold their attention (thus providing motivation and momentum for learning). Once you capture, free up, and hold attention, then retention has a better chance of happening.
Many schools pay lip service to this notion. As I've traveled the country doing presentations for hundreds of school districts, I have been intrigued to see in every school system philosophy words to the effect: "One of the goals of education is to help students experience the joy of learning." At the same time, many schools discourage humor. Phrases like "Don't smile until Christmas!" (told to new teachers) reinforce the myth that education and enjoyment are mutually exclusive.
As professionals, we need to give ourselves the gift of humor to help us tickle job-related stress before it tackles us. At the same time, we need to truly invite students to experience the joy of learning and encourage them to nurture humor as a vital life skill. In fact, in his longitudinal study of what made for "success" in Harvard College graduates, Dr. George Vaillant found humor to be one of the key mature coping mechanisms that insured that stress didn't kill more quickly and commonly. In other words, you can use humor to add years to your life and life to your years.
Jest for the health of it!
Perhaps the most significant bottom line is your health -- without it, you're dead (literally or figuratively). The old adage, "Laughter is the best medicine," appears to be on target -- for you individually and for your organization. Norman Cousins' best-selling book, Anatomy of an Illness, certainly has opened up many people's eyes to the notion that "S/he who laughs lasts." Cousins, an outstanding leader and great humanitarian, describes how he intentionally used various sources (books, films) to tap his own sense of humor, hope, and optimism in recovering from a painful and debilitating illness. William Fry, Jr., M.D., who has done research on the physiology of laughter for almost 50 years, lends support to Cousins' notion that laughter is like "internal jogging." Laughter can have a positive effect on blood pressure and respiration, suppresses stress-related hormones, and activates the immune system.
We at The HUMOR Project believe so much in the humor-health connection that we have given grants to over 350 schools, hospitals, and human service agencies to help them tap the power of humor. These grants have helped establish humor rooms and comedy carts in hospitals, "geriantics" programs in nursing homes, and comedy clubs for "at risk" students.
"Stress" and "burn-out" have become household words. Humor can be a powerful antidote to stress -- it can help us to move from a "grim and bear it" mentality to a "grin and share it" orientation.
This notion is captured well by George Burns, who hit the century mark. George said that "You can't help growing older, but you can help growing old." By using humor, we can prevent what I call a "hardening of the attitudes." If you stand rigidly in the face of stress, you are much more easily knocked off-balance. If you are flexible mentally, you are in a much better position to "roll with the punches" that life throws you.
"A smile is the shortest distance between two people," according to Victor Borge.
We have used that quote on our envelopes for the past 27 years, because we believe that humor can be a powerful-- and delightful-- way to build positive working relationships, to increase motivation, and to improve morale. This has significant implications these budget-crunched days when "teamwork" is an important strategy for "doing more with less."
Finally, humor is power. It can serve as a mirror of what is going on in society and, perhaps more importantly, it can also serve as a vehicle for change. Larry Klein, one of the writers for The Tonight Show, noted that humor "is the only form of revolution we have left in this country."
It may not be the only form, but it can be a powerful formula for helping people work through the challenges of change and conflict. Given the current world situation filled with terrorism, war, a challenging economy, and international tension, humor could help preserve our sanity and humanity in the midst of some insane and inhumane realities. In short, humor can transform a negative situation into a positive.
As Erma Bombeck once said, "When humor goes, there goes civilization."
Mythconception #3: To Be Humorous, You Have to Be a "Natural" Joke-Teller
Myth: Humor equals only joke-telling.
Truth: Humor certainly includes jokes, but it goes way beyond! Humor is much more important than mere joke-telling...humor is an attitude, a perspective, a set of skills that can help us achieve important goals in our lives and jobs.
Some people think that to be humorous, you had to be born with the comedy gene -- or you're out of luck (and humor). I posed this issue to Steve Allen in an interview in our Laughing Matters magazine. His perspective was that we may be born with a certain genetic ceiling and floor when it comes to "humor"-- but it's what we do in our lives that influences whether we end up on the ceiling or floor. In other words, there is hope.
Although joke-telling is one way to transmit humor, it's not the only way. In fact, there are literally thousands of ways to invite smiles and laughter in addition to joke-telling (as suggested by the subtitle of my book: Laffirmations: 1,001 Ways to Add Humor to Your Life and Work). So, if joke-telling is not your forte or if it is inappropriate for you to become the stand-up comic on the job, there are alternatives.
Here are some tips to get you going:
(1) Put humor into the physical environment -- by osmosis, it may filter into the organizational culture. This could be accomplished by having a humor bulletin board with light-hearted sayings, such as the words of Robert Frost, "The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get to work."
(2) Anticipate ways of injecting humor into potential conflict situations. This is called "prepared flexibility," which is what leadership is all about anyway. Having available a repertoire of quotes may help you through some sticky situations. The next time you’re in a conflict, you can disagree without being disagreeable… jest say with a twinkle in your eye, "Save time... see it my way!"
(3) Develop your comic vision. Look for humor and it will find you. Make believe you are Allen Funt (the creator of the Candid Camera television show) for five minutes each day... especially in the most serious of places. For instance, one of my graduate students passed along this sign she saw in front of a church announcing the two services for a particular Sunday: "Theme of 9:30 AM Service: Jesus Walks on Water...Theme of 5:00 Service: Searching for Jesus." As a professional, you are sometimes expected to "walk on water," and yet, you may be searching for yourself in the process. Searching for humor is a wonderful way to find yourself.
(4) Use humor as a tool rather than as a weapon. Laughing with others builds confidence, brings people together, and pokes fun at our common dilemmas. Laughing at others destroys confidence, demolishes teamwork, and singles out individuals or groups as the "butt." In the words of one fifth grade teacher who attended one of my presentations in 1979: "You don't have to blow out my candle to make yours glow brighter." Humor is laughter made from pain, not pain inflicted by laughter.
(5) Laugh at yourself. Set the tone by modeling your ability to take your job seriously and yourself lightly. One of the simplest and most powerful ways of doing this is to "tell stories on yourself" whenever possible and appropriate.
Rose Cellino-Reynolds, who attended our annual international conference on “The Positive Power of Humor & Creativity,” told me about the time she went to a meeting filled with salespeople. The big thing for these salespeople was to wear a beeper. Rose did not have a beeper and was feeling a bit out of place. So she went home that night and came back to the gathering the next morning with tongue-in-cheek… wearing her garage door opener. As Rose suggests, "Learning to laugh at oneself is the first step in developing a sense of humor." Your sense of humor can magically open all kinds of doors for you!
Life Is Serious... Life Is a Laughing Matter
Life is serious. Life is a laughing matter. Both are true. The wonderful thing is that we have the choice. By choosing humor and laughter, we can survive and thrive.
If you've ever been in a painful or difficult situation in which someone says, "Someday we'll laugh at this!"...you might offer the following suggestion: "Why wait?" Laughing at yourself can have both immediate and long-term payoffs. Invest in jest now… humor and laughter are life-skills legacies to give to our young people today.
Copyright © 2003 Joel Goodman. All rights reserved.
